Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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