just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
