just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
as a side note pls kill me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
