well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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