Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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