My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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