I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
