just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
