I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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