Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize