hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
