C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
