so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
