Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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