I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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