Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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