I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
