i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
