Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
