sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
