1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
