drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
