their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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