Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
