woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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