My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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