Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
