Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
