i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
