No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i think i have two assholes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
