Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
