I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Too much gin, very little bucket
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
