She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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