chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I think your dad took our porno
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
