Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
