Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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