Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
