puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Life without a bra equals bliss.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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