Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
