That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize