you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
