I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
