Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
