Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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