Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize