is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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