it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
