I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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