I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
