Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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