wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
