The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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