I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize