i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
