the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
