It's Friday. Sex?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
