he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
