Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize