i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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