Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
