Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
only you would photoshop your dick
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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