i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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