we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
