we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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