didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
